3 Life Lessons my Real Estate Agent Taught Me

I’ve never met anyone as masterful at their craft as Dale Becker. Dale is a Real Estate Professional in Denver and the man who helped Cory and I find our home. He’s earned a number of awards from various groups, but Cory and I knew Dale was remarkable long before we found out he’s been a Five Star Real Estate Professional three years running in 5280 Magazine. What set him apart was he never came to us with problems, only potential solutions to whatever obstacle had presented itself. It is not easy, these days, to buy a house. And our search had, perhaps, more than its fair share of challenges. Yet the process always seemed perfectly manageable with Dale on our side.

However, Dale Becker is far more than just a fantastic Real Estate Professional. He’s been the source of three transformative life lessons that have benefited me personally, professionally, and during the pursuit of my creative dreams.

I marveled at how Dale created so many great solutions to problems. When I discovered he had a blog I wondered if I could divine his big secret! One of the articles I found forever changed how I looked at the world, my life, and my business. To this day, I have it posted on my Inspiration Wall. The article is called “WINNING VERSUS BEING RIGHT,” and regardless of your industry, it has some wisdom for you.

One of my favorite quotes from it is:

“In simple terms, winning is solving a problem. Being right is being right. What I have found is that solving problems pays extremely well, and being right often pays little or nothing.”

I looked at how I approached problems at my job. At the time, I was still an Engineer. As a woman, I was highly aware of existing prejudice and very insecure about myself and my work. I always checked and double-checked and triple-checked everything, because I always wanted to be right, but when I focused on being perfect I almost inevitably missed obvious things when fixating on the details. I got defensive when people wanted changes, insisting my original way was best. I resented altering things, and felt bitter and unappreciated.

Not long after I read Dale’s article, I had a big conference call with a very important client. They’d asked me to prepare a massive presentation (I believe it was nearly 100 slides) with very vague instructions. I’d worked all week on gathering the data, making graphs and charts, and crafting what I felt was a very solid presentation. Yet from the very first word of the meeting, I knew the slides were in trouble. The client hadn’t been clear on what they wanted, but they knew what I’d given them wasn’t it. I grew angry and tense, holding in sharp remarks. Then I asked myself, “Am I trying to win, or be right?”

Suddenly, everything changed.

When I focused on solving the problem, my mind cleared. I was able to identify what they actually wanted, and within minutes had several suggestions on how we could meet their needs. By the end of the meeting, the client was very happy with the progress, and my supervisor made a point to tell me how impressed he was with how I’d conducted myself.

I had won. All it took was giving up on being right.

In the comic industry, I have seen people choose being right over winning time and again. The result? As Dale said, “being right often pays little or nothing.” I’ve seen people attack well-meaning (if sometimes awkward) critics, alienating potential fans. I’ve witnessed people showing up hung-over and snarling at their convention booths, only to blame the con organizers for their poor sales. I’ve seen people kick up drama and hurt feelings in flame wars, damaging their reputations and losing the respect of their peers. Every one of those situations could have been transformed if the people involved had spent less time on trying to be right, and more time on winning.

You never know when you’re going to receive a life-changing lesson. In this case, it was over a chicken sandwich at Red Robin.

Dale has kept in touch, years after he helped Cory and I find our home. He met us for lunch one day to catch up. During the meal I expressed my reluctance to leave my Engineering job. I was consumed with fears about the future. I worried constantly about how Cory and I would survive, convinced that pursuing our creative goals would leave us destitute. It was too much risk. We weren’t ready. We had to be secure. More savings, more cushion, more reserve, more contingencies.

Dale looked me in the eye and said, “If you spend all your time avoiding risk, one day you’ll realize you’ve turned your life into a tiny little box with no exit.”

At the time, I didn’t take it very well. I felt Dale just didn’t understand how much risk I was already taking just by having my dream at all! Couldn’t he see all the work I was doing? I felt judged and misunderstood. Despite my internal denial, his point stuck with me. Now, I look back and finally understand how much I was crippling myself and my goals. My fixation on survival meant I could never feel secure enough to ever fully commit to my business. I was working at a job I hated to store cash away in savings accounts I had no intention of ever using. I never needed to take a hard look at how I was conducting business, because my creative dream never had to make any money. I had the day job for that. A day job that sucked up all my energy, so I avoided opportunities on the grounds that they were “too much effort,” and “probably wouldn’t work anyway.” I didn’t realize that my avoidance of risk prevented me from learning, experimenting, or growing as a person and a business.

When I left the engineering day job, I left behind crutches and realized I’d had two perfectly good legs to stand on the entire time. Sure, I’m stumbling plenty now, but I’m moving forward much faster than ever before.

My world is no longer a tiny box with no exit. It’s wide and expansive, full of doors waiting to be opened.

You never completely stop being Dale’s customer, because he never stops providing value. I look forward to his annual client letters about the housing market. He includes research, data, figures, and a detailed report of his expectations for the future. Even though I’m not looking for a new house, I like knowing his expert opinion on what’s happening in this important market. It can have a big impact on my community! He also has regular client appreciation days at local sport events or films, just to thank people for being past clients, or for introducing him to new clients. And before you think any of these group activities might lack the personal touch, he’s also sent me clippings from newspapers when he noticed my name in local articles about conventions or comic store events, with letters of encouragement and excitement on my behalf.

Dale is always creating value. Always making the lives of the people he’s contacted just a little bit better. He’s grateful, giving, and insightful. This puts him in not only top-of-mind, but top-of-heart. I have never recommended anyone so doggedly as I have Dale Becker. I don’t know if I’ve been a particularly great salesperson, but by golly I have tried!

I work to provide that same level of value with my own customers and readers. I can only hope that I’ve achieved even a fraction of the good will that Dale engenders. I, quite frankly, do not know how he manages to be so alert, involved, and considerate with such unerring consistency. I can only seek to emulate his good example.

And, if I hear that you’re looking for a home in the Denver region, I’ll whole-heartedly and enthusiastically recommend that you give Dale Becker a call.

Thank you, Dale, for the years of insight, inspiration, and happiness that your influence has brought into the lives of so many people. I’d ask you to keep up the good work, but I know that’s already a guarantee.

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